The One Left Behind
by Melissa Norvell
Summary: ONE SHOT - Saionji's P.O.V. -UtenaXAnthy and Unrequited AnthyXSaionji - Saionji's reflection on how it felt to be left behind by Anthy when he had lost her to Utena in his duel. R&R!


**I have been way too bored lately. I've written so many fanfics that I can't even begin to realize where they came from. This is another one of my fanfics (and Saionji orientated at that) **

**This fic is AU yet not, it's more only AU because Saionji isn't there when Utena loses Anthy to Touga in their duel.**

**This is written in Saionji's P.O.V. on Utena (and Anthy)**

**Please enjoy!**

**The One Left Behind**

**By: Oneesan no Miroku Houshi**

She lives like a ghost, an empty shell that has no life running through her, only a breaking heart, slowly being chipped off, piece by piece with every still moment that passes by. All signs of life and what had been slowly drips out of her, drop by drop, until now she lies, brainless, aching…Alone? She does not eat, she does not think – all she does is exist in a parallel world of tears that falls so much that they even consume her sleep.

She looks pathetic.

She is pathetic.

And I envy her with my whole being. I envy this helpless girl who has no use in this world, who has no bother for the real world. I envy this girl and her ability to cry, to cry for all the things that I wish I had, so many things I wish I could cry about.

But I can't.

I can't.

She told me that you said goodbye to her that other day, beneath the moonlight, and then walked away from her, your solitary frame slowly disappearing off into the wide distance as you slipped further and further away from her as your good-bye rang within her ears like an echo never ceasing, never fading the whole time…

Just like the good-bye you never told me rings within my own ears right now. The good-bye that you never told me, the good-bye that I had wished you said. The good-bye I dreamt you said instead. A good-bye from the sullen distance, where you watched me and then inclined your head to whisper a sweet lingering good-bye before stepping away from me as your thoughts lingered on me once again before you walked out away from me completely…

But that's what I fantasize. That's what I wish I truly had happen. But even my heart knows that it's a lie as it laughs at my daydreams…

So, why does she cry again? I'm confused and puzzled…and maybe even angry. You told her good-bye, a real good-bye – not just some made up one, and you paid your respects to her…

So why does she cry?

I received nothing; I do not recall that sweet embrace you gave her given to me. I do not call "Good-bye Saionji, my school mate." a proper good-bye. All I can recall is the cold realization that you had not cared enough for me to tell me good-bye in a proper way. That you didn't love me the way you loved her.

Why was it that she was crying again?

Over sweet good-byes and warm embraces?

Or was it the fact that she could?

Did she cry because it didn't matter if life stopped functioning for her?

She had no burdens to carry upon her back, no haunting past that was waiting to break her, to corrupt her, to shun her?

She did not have the face redeeming herself for something she should not have done, or maybe she should have instead. She didn't know how it feels to have an ally who thinks they can best you at everything you do. You know about my love though. You knew exactly how it felt, the hidden love we shared. That's why I tried to become your prince.

But she doesn't know. She doesn't know how it feels to live with this burden that pulls you down, narrowing your choices, limiting your freedom, your emotions, and your well-being. She's ignorant. She's innocent…

Was that why you loved her and not me?

Was it the fact that she was so pure?

So innocent?

Was that the reason why you think of her rather then I?

She's the only one that can save you then, isn't she? She's the only one that can make you into what you want to be. She knows nothing about the darkness, the bitterness of the self-hatred and loneliness. She's a dreamer, believing anything is possible…

Even saving you…

She's the only one that can bring you out of being the Rose Bride then, I just know this. Even if I wanted to bring the world revolution I could never…But if she wanted to, she could save your soul, she could save everything you built up for, everything you want to start this new life of yours.

Anthy…

Is it bad for me to wish that I could have been the one?

**OWARI**

**Well, here it is my little one-shot contemplative Saionji fic. I did one on Juri as well, if anyone wants to check it out, it's also on my pen name. **

**Also, I have other Saionji fanfics as well that you may find to your liking, if you're as die hard of a Saionji fan as I am. In this fic, I tried to bring out Saionji's envy of Utena being able to be Anthy's Prince. I hope I did a good job at conveying his feelings for both Utena and Anthy, whom were talked about in the fic. **

**This was a one shot of many I wrote while I didn't have the Internet. I had a huge update then. **

**Oh check out Hinoto Nobukaze's work. It's great!**

**I hope you could tell who was who, if you couldn't, e-mail me at:**

**Prince Malik Ishtar **

**Just remove the spaces.**

**Now, without further adieu, please R&R and post your thoughts.**


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